No greater love

I love these words of Jesus. He truly laid His life down for all to be given the choice to be reconciled to the Father. A life He raised up again on the third day, so we too can be raised up to a new life in Him if we so choose to accept His most wonderful gift.

My path with Jesus leads me to once again lay down my desires and what I want to be the time line for my dreams regarding writing and finishing my second book. The Lord blessed me with a son on the spectrum. He has Asperger’s, and without revealing any more than that, he is suffering greatly. And when our children suffer, we suffer with them. I am still not 100% healed from fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome, still struggle with pain and severe exhaustion, and it takes all of me to work my part-time job and raise and give my son the care and attention he needs now. I have no regrets and will never blame him in any way for these delays but count it an honor. I know that’s why the Lord gave Him to me. He knew I’d always be willing to “lay down my life and desires” as needed to do what is needed for my son and whatever else He asks of me.

My main ministry is motherhood and has been from the moment I held my son in my arms, and the care of my son may be extended because of his needs and health issues, but I will seek the Lord fervently through prayer and fasting for direction as to how I can best help my son be a loving and God-loving, independent adult.

Book 2 will be completed at snails pace with no idea of its release date.

God bless, and this single momma covets any ‘in Jesus’ name’ fervent prayers for my son and myself – healing all around, provision, and strength as we are making it through one day at a time.

“If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me.” – Matthew 16:24

“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” – Matthew 6:34

Remember Jesus this Holy week and this Easter Sunday.

My favorite Third Day song, You are so good to me:

R.I.P. Finn my beautiful betta fish

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A sad day. You’re with Jesus now, Finn, our sweet betta fish swimming in rivers of living water. The image is not so good (Kindle camera), but she had a beautiful face and was brought to me and my son in the form of a miracle.

We visited a church and during that time my son was having a difficult time. I didn’t know it then, but he’s on the spectrum and as you all know kids can be cruel, even brutal – bullies. It wasn’t an easy thing for him to go and try to mingle with anyone at that time.

The middle school aged youth group had a game night. They played bingo. I prayed he’d have a good time and enjoy himself. He hadn’t in awhile. The game began, and a fish, the one pictured above immediately caught his eye. He wanted to win that fish. The only one there.

Meanwhile, I continued to pray, unaware of his heart’s desire. My kind tenderhearted son who loves animals. The games were over after an hour or so – they played several rounds – and I saw my son approaching me with a huge grin on his face. He said, “I won this. Other kids kept winning over and over, and on the last game I won this fish. I prayed that I’d win it, and I did. No one else got it. I did.”

It might seem like a small thing to someone reading this, but it was exactly what my son needed – to be lifted up. To have God smile upon Him. To feel loved.

A little while later, I told him that I prayed for him the entire time he was in there. I know God heard our prayers. Sometimes, it’s the little things that bless our hearts in HUGE ways.

I’ll miss Finn’s pretty face. She had her own special fish personality and always swam to the glass to see us when we got close. We had her just under two years. Is that a long time in betta fish years? I have no idea, but she was a constant reminder that small blessings can make a difference in our lives. We didn’t go back to that church. It wasn’t for us – too big, but it was an appointment God set eons ago to bring Finn into our lives and to cause my son to feel His love.

*tears* I’ll miss you Finn. We both will.