There’s a fine line to doing this because it is can be difficult for solo moms raising fatherless children (in my case one son) to receive help because sometimes “help” isn’t really help which entails a kindness done without expecting anything in return – sometimes “help” comes with chains and the “helper” feeling he/she can exercise some sort of rights over the helpee – like bossing them around, giving them totally off the wall and not led by the Spirit of God parenting advice.
Disclaimer about receiving help. God wants us to let Him guide us in all things, giving us wisdom every step of the way:
I know I’ve been there. So calling all single mommas – fervently pray about whom you receive help from – it might not be of the Lord. It might be straight from the pit of hell.
Long story short, a very legalistic member of my church – which I unfortunately discovered after the fact – “helped” me by asking a nice couple to donate to me a washer and dryer they weren’t using and were just sitting in their shed. I was overjoyed. And thankful because my son and I hated trekking to the laundry mat every week. But you see. Some people do things as a show for man, not led by God, and not of the heart. Soon, she was overly invasive in my life, giving me very wrong for my child parenting advice, she and a friend of hers were gossiping about me and my son’s poor eating habits. I know because the other lady told me.
They invited me over for dinner. Lord help me, I guess I used to be a slow learner about these types of people. My son took one look at the food they had and said, “He didn’t like any of it.” I had fed him a little food before just in case. They were all over me about it. Wanting me to force him to eat it, like I had to prove something to them. Sorry, ladies Jesus is my Lord. Well, I didn’t know the dinner was about giving me parenting lessons. Gosh, I thought they were trying to be a blessing to me and my son.
Turns out, my son has Aspergers – so, though I didn’t know it at the time, my personal Spirit-led insight at that time for my son, the one the Lord entrusted to me, about not fussing over his food habits was from the Lord. My son has sensory issues. He can’t stand movie theaters – too loud. Still can’t stand haircuts – when the hairs touch his body – it drives him completely nutso. Many foods – overwhelms him, makes him gag, tastes too potent. Being around groups of people for a long time in one sitting – feels like he can’t breathe.
Honestly, so that the above type “step on her and her children’s necks” spirit doesn’t enter into a situation, the best way to bless single moms and widows raising fatherless children would be to do it anonymously.
On that note, God says:
There’s a great organization that gives grants and help to widows and single moms raising fatherless children and single parents/dads who homeschool.
Note there’s a drop down list where you can select, Children of Single Parents fund. Visit them at: https://www.homeschoolfoundation.org
A note to pastors, elders, and church leadership:
Seek the Lord on how to be a blessing to single moms and their children. Let Him be your guide.
This isn’t every church, but this has been my experience and the experience of several single mothers the Lord has caused to cross my path vs. the experiences women with minor children who were widowed shared with me…
There is still too much of a stigma toward single mothers who’ve divorced and/or were left by their husband. Because of a religious Pharisaical spirit in many Christians about divorce, us and our children are treated very differently than women and their children who lost a husband by death. When we are in lack and struggle and don’t have enough food, there are no casseroles, or sympathy, but more of a “you’re reaping what you sowed. Must be that divorce you never should have gone through with.”
God said He hates divorce, He didn’t say it was apostasy, something unforgivable, something not worthy of redemption. He hates it because it traumatizes everyone involved and deeply hurts His children.
In Ezra chapter 10 (in the Bible), God ordered, yes God ordered, a mass divorce of His people for marrying idolaters. Sometimes we marry people who will lead us straight to hell, people who we never asked God’s permission to marry. God is mercy. And sometimes, it’s not His will for the marriage to be saved. He has better. He’d rather our souls and the souls of our children make it to heaven. This is where God says, “Duh, religious people.”
My Redeemer lives!
It hurt me and actually put great fear and torment on me, when an elder’s only response to me was let’s pray for the reconciliation of your marriage. Me, a brand new believer mind you. Grow some tact and a Christlike heart certain Christians. I asked him to pray that the Lord deliver me and my son from my ex-husband and to protect us from him because, hello, we were in danger My ex-husband threatened to kill me and “hide my body where no one would ever find it.” So elder man, if it was your daughter who this happened to what would you say then? And that’s ALL he had to say to me.
The single moms raising fatherless children I know, work, and do everything they can to provide for their children, and it’s never enough. These moms do without proper food so their kids can eat. They are beyond exhausted. As a result, some get so overtaxed they find themselves in a health crisis.
See how their cars are running. Send them gift card to grocery stores. If they own a small business bless it. Go out of your way to do so.
Religion is what keeps people away from God. It is God’s kindness to us that leads us to repent (Romans 2:4) and we are to be more like Jesus each day as His followers.
A final note from this single mom who loves Jesus and is loved by Him:
I recently published a book – a middle grade novel called Oswald Spoon and the Trouble with Invisibility. I would be blessed if you spread the word, purchased this book as a gift for a kid, your kid, purchased this book for your local Christian school (when on paperback), shared with a local homeschool co-op group or book club, churches with hearts toward single moms and fatherless children. Available at Amazon.
It’s currently an ebook and coming soon to paperback.
A portion of the proceeds from the sale of my book to go to anti-human trafficking and James 1:27 type organizations. I just made a donation to the Homeschool Foundation’s children of single parents fund a little while ago.
My prayers go out to single moms and fatherless children. Cause Christmas miracles to pour over them Father.
The Lord keeps bringing messages to me that say, “Everything you’ve gone through won’t be wasted.” So I believe it with all my heart.
A children’s book by another single mom I know Sir Trump-a-lot available at Amazon.