My definition of solo mom.
Solo mom (n) – a mother who’s raising her children alone, not co-parenting, as a result of the death and/or abandonment of/by the father.
There’s something about this time of the year that makes it a little tougher on us solo moms. I was watching my new favorite TV show, This IS Us, this past Tuesday and melted into a puddle of tears when I barely made it through this emotionally annihilating scene.
“Randal, climb on your father’s back….Jack, your back was built to carry your son through life.” Are you willing to hold him up no matter what comes his way?”
I don’t bring this up often. Don’t have pity parties about parenting alone, but I was praying recently, talking to God, and said “Lord, I have been through so much pain. So much betrayal by those who were supposed to protect me, have felt so much hurt by seeing my son grow up without a father, and I cannot believe that any of it is in vain. What do I do with all of it, Father?” And some verses came to my mind. Ones that had been coming to me quite often lately.
“What a wonderful God we have—He is the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the source of every mercy, and the one who so wonderfully comforts and strengthens us in our hardships and trials. And why does He do this? So that when others are troubled, needing our sympathy and encouragement, we can pass on to them this same help and comfort God has given us” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4 TLB).
We all go through “stuff” so I pray that none of mine gets wasted. That I am somehow able to be a comfort to those going through similar “stuff” that I’ve gone through. Often only those who’ve gone through close to what you’ve been through will be the ones to care or get it or be able to offer something to help your hurting heart.
The other day, I mentioned to a fellow This Is Us lover and sister in Christ, just an acquaintance, that touching scene above, and I don’t always share parts of my heart with people because they don’t value it, but I made the mistake of saying how hard that scene was for me to that particular person because my son is fatherless, and instead of being a good listener and being as a little empathetic, she cut me off and said, “You’re son is not fatherless. His father is just not involved.”
There’s no point in trying to “school the ignorant” – my son’s father abandoned him when he was 4. Over 11 years ago, got permanently deported from the U.S., we haven’t received a penny from him since 2005, haven’t heard from him, and we literally do not know if he’s dead or alive.
Solo moms, I’m sorry people can be so clueless. So heartless at times. Guard your precious beautiful hearts and don’t cast your pearls before swine.
Lord, I pray for strength and a constant extra dose of grace for these solo moms. You said You are a Father to the fatherless. I have seen this to be true in my life. You making up for where I leave off. You don’t expect us to be both father and mother. No one can truly bare that. If we let you, You will go before us and make every crooked place straight. Keep us from “making our own way” when only You can see what’s before us. Lead us and our children every moment. You’ve made so many ways where there seemed to be no way in my life. Show Yourself strong on these mommas behalf. Meet and exceed all their needs. Surround them and their baby bears with angels to keep them in ALL their ways (Psalm 91). Let every step these mommas and their kids take bring them closer to Jesus Christ. Send special “Christmas gifts” this year. Blessings – emotional, spiritual, and physical. Blow their minds with Your goodness. Answer prayers they’ve been waiting on for a long time now. Prosper the work of our/their hands, Lord,as the sole provider of our/their children. In Jesus’ name, amen.