Writer Vs. Cat

Landt the cat

My cat’s morning ‘feed me right now’ routine includes…

SPOILER ALERT: I lose.

Me: In dreamland.

Cat: Nibbles on my exposed fingertips.

Me: Opens eye. Rolls over.

Cat: Gets in my face again. Purrs loudly..

Me: Closes eyes. Fakes sleep.

Cat: Nibbles on my hair, pulling it, proceeding to chomp on it like hay.

Me: Covers head.

Cat: Kneads pillow loudly next to my head.

Me: Covers ears beneath blanket.

Cat: Meows loudly near my head as if she’s dying. Doesn’t stop.

Me:

Cat: Does ‘ha ha ha’ victory sprint towards cat bowl.

Me: Spoons out that food lickety split like.

Cat: Looks at me like a sweet angel, softly meows, then eats her food like Hannibal Lecter eats liver with fava beans.

Got any funny cat stories?

I love this true to life cartoon – Simon’s Cat. (And Yes, my cat types, doesn’t yours?)

Cat always wins! Knows its power over us.

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